Spurned Love

Struggling through weeks just to survive, opening your eyes every morning with a hope that yes, everything is going to be all right. 

Spending 24 hours thinking how it used to be and how it is. 

Thinking of what you were and what you are now. Crying yourself to sleep, hoping that someone out there would care. Is this what is love? Is this feeling love? No it isn't. Love in poems is explained to be as one of the most beautiful feelings, it's said to be magical and mesmerizing. But what she feels is nothing even close to love, what she feels is pain, betrayal, hatred,  jealously and agony. To love someone she gets hatred, to care for someone she's called fake, to be there for someone she's called worthless. 

For I agree, she hasn't been the best girl herself, she hasn't been his dream girl, she hasn't been worth his love, she hasn't been faithful. 

But now, I see her change, I see her find her happiness in him, I see her fighting against all reasons to make her self believe that he's all she's ever wanted and that he will come back. She's passing everyday thinking that, he will realize that there's a girl back there, who wants to be heard. But for all the pain they've caused each other, it will be better if they were apart. For now, his happiness is someone else and she lies alone in a corner, feeling nothing, but loneliness. For now, he's living a happy life and she's living with a faint hope of him coming back. For now, he's in love and she's in pain. For now, he is subject to affection and she's subject to the hate. For now, he's moved on and she's still in something but, love. Know you miss him not when he's with you, but when you've lost him forever. 

Realize now that when your heart breaks, you got to fight like hell to make sure your still alive. Because you are. And that pain you feel? That’s life. The confusion and fear? That’s there to remind you, that somewhere out there is something better, and that something is worth fighting for. 

She's promised to herself and her bestfriends that now, she's going to be a stronger person, she's going to a warrior, she's going to build a shield around her which no words will be able to get through. Someday, she'll be just fine. She'll be laughing. She'll be having the time of her life. Not today, not tomorrow, but one day, everything will be fine. Till then, she won't be alone, she will have her bestfriends who will have her back and be with her all the time. She didn't deserve the hate, the ignorance and the pain. 

She wasn't a heartbreaker, she was a girl who was afraid to fall in love, now that she is, she's afraid to fall out of love.